Needing to Post

I need to get a new post up here. Things do continue to change with David, and I find he is commenting more about what is going on with him (inside him) than he ever had before, so I'm learning a lot that I can pass on to those of you who are still checking in and praying for him/us.

I've said this before, I believe, but it is more and more true all the time. We are in a very strange spot. There is no way to know if he will continue to see improvement, but he has to keep working hard at therapy just in case, because if he does not then he certainly won't improve. But there is something about that that makes is hard to move on with life.

I can't quite put this well.

He and I have both commented recently in ways that touch on this. In some sense (although not in all senses) we would be at a better spot if he knew this was as far as he was going to get. That would be sad, but at least if that were the case, he would KNOW where he stood, could move to the acceptance phase and re-vision his life (and also save a lot of time not going to therapy!). As it is he continues spending a lot of time and money in therapy - not knowing if it will make a difference, but not daring to stop and lose out on that chance - and because of this unknown, he also cannot quite settle into a place of full acceptance, because he is continuing to strive for something more. I'm afraid I'm not putting this well at all.

There must be a way to accept where one is at while yet striving to improve one's conditions, but we have not found that balance yet.

What follows are reminders to myself of what to comment about in the near future: sleep, stairs (at Enochs), sensation (wad), exercise/apnea.