On the Lighter Side

In recent months, nearly every time David sees someone for the first time in a while that person says, "David, you look SO GOOD!"

I'm beginning to get concerned that people are hitting on my husband!!!

He's MINE, I tell you HE'S MINE!!

Return from DC & 6 month reflection

David and Jacob arrived home at about 2am Sunday from the 8th grade trip to Washington DC. We are so pleased David was able to do this, that he is recovered enough from his stroke to take it on and that his heart repair was done early enough this spring that he was recovered from that as well - that timing having been so up in the air for so long.

I still wondered if he could really do this; afterall, he is sometimes exhausted after walking only one mile at home, because whenever he walks he needs to be very focused on making his left leg do the right thing. He did mention that being at Arlington National Cemetery was a particularly hard day with all the hills - uphill: not so bad - downhill: quite a problem.

The trip is really designed to have quite a gruelling pace, so I'm both very surprised and very grateful he did as well as he did. He came home with a very bad cold, and I think that's a result of him getting pretty run down, but it was definitely worth it to be able to realize this goal and to be able to have that special bonding time with Jacob - and also for himself personally to accomplish what he had signed on for at the beginning of the semester before all of the rest came about - a good feeling!

I'd like to add just further information about what life is like for David right now, six months after his stroke.

Things have very much plateaued for him. He remains mostly upbeat, as is his nature, but there are frustrating days when it sinks in that this may get no better. For the most part people can't tell there's anything wrong by looking at him - unless they watch him walk a reasonable distance; then there is a noticeable limp, and it is obvious that his arms aren't in sync with each other as he walks.

What people aren't able to see is that he is still missing almost all feeling on the left side of his body and that he relies quite a bit on looking at his arm or leg to get it to do the right thing. He also mentioned after returning from the field trip that it is particularly difficult to have people walking near him on his left side because he feels as if he is going to bump into them or step on their feet because that side just seems rather out of control. After coming home on Sunday he tried to do a couple of small repairs around the house, one of which required him to use a pliers to try to pry something open, and he just can't hold onto things with that left hand - kept dropping it. He also trimmed his fingernails that day - no problem doing his left hand with his right, but doing his right hand was another story. He almost gave in and had me do it, but after much perserverance he was able to do it on his own. It took quite a bit of time, though. I watched for a while but had to walk away because it was painful to watch!

Also, last year he had mentioned to both our neighbors that he was willing that summer to work with them on repairing the fences between our homes, which are more than 25 years old and basically patched up and being propped up in place right now. That sort of work had always been tremendously delightful to him. He's roofed our house on his own and in the past had always eager to be doing any kind of physical work outside. I'd always had a hard time keeping him out of trees with a chainsaw! I can't remember the number of trees he's taken out of our backyard - at least 4 or 5. I was getting to the point where I felt I'd have to tie myself to the remaining trees to protect them! His physical limitations have taken away his desire to engage in this kind of activity. In regard to the fences he has said more than once since his stroke that he wishes the neighbors had taken him up on his offer last summer as he just can't imagine being able physically to do that now - nor having the emotional drive to do that now either.

Yesterday was a down day for him, but I think it is in large part because he moved right back into work after such a taxing week and is feeling quite sick - perhaps also because he has so recently taken on things he had not tried since having his stroke and is finding they don't come about as he'd like them to. He even wondered out loud at dinner last night if he would ever have the spark inside him to be as creative and energetic as is characteristic of the faculty he works with, a spark which he always had before. Right now he feels he is just getting through the day rather than working with the enthusiasm he is used to, and that doesn't feel good to him. His place of work is filled with very vibrant people, and he wants to be a full participant in that vibrancy.

He has said though too that he thinks the reason he has been so tired since going back full time is that he'd been out or only partially in for so long that jumping back into the swing of things when everyone else was already in the middle of it may be what is making it so tiring. Being full time is quite different from being part time. I'm eager for him to have a break during summer and then to be able to begin again in the fall with a new school year, beginning again when everyone else does, being able to begin from the ground up. I'm quite sure his spark will come back! He's still David - still the man of positive spirits and strong work ethic; it's just that everything is a bit more daunting or draining yet at this point.

When he asks his therapists if he will get something back (physically) he keeps getting the generic answer: "David, you know you've had a major stroke. You may get it back; you may not." As you can imagine, that's not a terribly satisfying answer. David's appointment at the UCSF Stroke Center will be June 5. We are both hoping at that time that the specialists there will be able to give him a more specific answer, but we are also aware that maybe a more specific answer doesn't exist. Maybe it does just come down to waiting. This past Friday was the 6 month point. We've been given all kinds of windows for when he will get back all that he is going to get back, and those statements to us have varied from 3 months to 2 years. We are sure hoping it's the 2-year window that's right!

He'd initially been told he could expect to regain 98% to 99% of his function and that he probably wouldn't even be aware of the 1% or 2% that was missing. Well, he's not yet anywhere near that point, but we sure hope that's still a possibility.

All that being said, the good news is he was able to take a trip across country and keep up with and chaperone a group of junior highers on quite a demanding field trip. That's quite a milestone and quite an accomplishment I think! (Shoot! I might be even more tired if I'd been the one who'd gone, and I haven't had a stroke! It makes me tired just thinking about it!) I know there were many people praying for him as he took this on. Thank you!